Sometimes a zest for life leaves you with more zest but less life...

I've always been an adventurous person. Growing up I had very few fears, and in fact I used to seek out the fastest, highest, and otherwise most dangerous experiences as I'm sure many teen boys do. One aspect of that adventurousness that never really manifest until a bit later is in the realm of eating. I always thought it peculiar that my dad liked to taste things in the wild. He was never afraid to put unknown berries and leaves in his mouth, often remarking on the various qualities of each.  I didn't share his enthusiasm when I was younger.  In fact, when it came to food I was pretty much a steak and potatoes kind of guy...and I didn't even like the two to touch on my plate!

That all started to change when cooking became a hobby of mine a few years ago.  As you can tell from other posts, I'm all about adventurous cooking and eating now.  My kids think it's great when I eat ants or grasshoppers we find, and if it weren't for my eagerness to try seeds of unknown plants I may have never sampled bread from wild wheat.  However, this past weekend I had an experience that may have put a damper on my enthusiasm for wild and unknown foodstuffs.

Don't eat this mushroom!

A large, round, white mushroom grows in grassy areas all over South Carolina.  Now, mind you, I grew up with the folk wisdom that one should not eat strange fungi for fear of nasty repercussions.  However, I have sampled smaller mushrooms in the wild with no adverse effects.  While few mushrooms are both edible and delectable, only two genuses common to North America are genuinely harmful (I discovered this after the fact, and only after copious internet research in an effort to decide if I needed to go to the emergency room).  Well, it turns out that the particular mushroom I ate last friday probably belongs to the amanita genus, a family of fungi that all contain a particularly dangerous toxin that shuts cells down by inhibiting their ability to express certain genes, including those necessary for protein production and cellular metabolic processes.  In case you are wondering, the telltale feature is the closeness and whiteness of the gills (not really visible in this picture).

The really nefarious aspect of this mushroom is that it actually tastes very much like the common white mushrooms sold in the grocery store (by the way, don't invite me for dinner any time soon if you're including those mushrooms in your meal).  So, I can see how families in rural settings who are used to gathering their own food could get themselves into trouble.  The "death cap" mushroom, which is one member of this family, accounts for 50% of all mushroom poisoning deaths worldwide (according to wikipedia).  I believe the one I ate to be the "destroying angel" or something very close to it, and it did live up to its name.

Now, many of you reading this are thinking, "What kind of idiot is this guy?"  And, frankly, I had the same question about 6 hours later.  I woke up around midnight with the kind of rumbling in my stomach that almost prompted me to call the closest seismic monitoring post instead of the doctor.  I then spent the next two and a half hours with my new best friend, the toilet.  Though, I'm sure the toilet was confused as to the nature of our relationship since I repeatedly and quickly changed which of my ends was doing the talking.  The next day, that is today, was spent in general malaise with sporadic hot flashes and general light-headedness.  However, after consulting with the state's poison control hotline (who informed me that I was the THIRD such report this WEEK) I decided that unless I am yellow tomorrow morning from jaundice due to a liver failure I should be fine in the long run.  I ate less than two grams, which is less than one fifth of the average lethal dose for an adult male, and I'm in pretty good shape overall, so I think my body is going to handle it.

There are lots of life lessons to be drawn from this experience, but mostly I'm trying to laugh about it for now.  If you don't see another post to this blog within a month or so, you'll know what happened to me.